he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
