all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
