Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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