Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize