drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
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You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
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we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
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