I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize