Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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