I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
A+ Viking dick
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
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