..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
