Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I'm experimenting with sincerity
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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