i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
