I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
