When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
