you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
