She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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