Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
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