Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
