3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
