So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize