Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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