This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
