Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize