How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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