If that was your dad, he is hot
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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