thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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