I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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