Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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