Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
