oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.