you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
