Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?