her vagine was all disorganized.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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