It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Randomize