Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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