You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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