there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
then he tried to convert me to islam
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
