I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
