You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You made out with two different species that night
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
