I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
