Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
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