Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize