Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
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