you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
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