C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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