I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
