Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
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booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
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This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
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