So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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