i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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