He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
