She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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