Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Randomize
