woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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