ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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