dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
