The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure