Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
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bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
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He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.