but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
