the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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