The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
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